I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She's the barista slut.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
