i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
