So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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