Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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