Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
