i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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