Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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