you're like a bully in the Christmas story
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
