playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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