i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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