Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have aggressive nipples.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
