walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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