as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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