If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
