I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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