I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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