She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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