she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
