Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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