question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
