Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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