She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize