I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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