"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
