You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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