They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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