pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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