Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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