I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So vagazzling was a success
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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