May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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