sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
