Porn is love you can see.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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