I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Olympian is in my bed
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize