Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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