im drinking this country out of the recession.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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