dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
