Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
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I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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