why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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