with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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