He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Randomize
