wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
