My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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