hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
