Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
