that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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