So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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