so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
