1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
