We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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