Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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