Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
