it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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