He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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