her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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