She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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