So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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