definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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