time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
