Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
