Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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