brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
