i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?