the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED