put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
