He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
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A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.