the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?