Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
They have beer where we have blood.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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