I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
whose parrot is this?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
