You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
