pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
A+ Viking dick
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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