Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
