that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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