I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
