Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?