are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out