that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka