She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
