Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around. http://tfl.nu/2wok
  Replies (7) Good night (570) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training. http://tfl.nu/gmkx
  Replies (50) Good night (3239) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?

  (510): View more from California

  I hope so

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die? (510): I hope so http://tfl.nu/tt2l
  Replies (41) Good night (2133) Bad night (5168)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle. http://tfl.nu/qqv1
  Replies (12) Good night (575) Bad night (4038)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days...... http://tfl.nu/e1u4
  Replies (10) Good night (3503) Bad night (1635)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes http://tfl.nu/0fsj
  Replies (24) Good night (4974) Bad night (2508)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (12048) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  should my penis look like a turkey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): should my penis look like a turkey http://tfl.nu/u56w
  Replies (18) Good night (856) Bad night (5304)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself. http://tfl.nu/4mrf
  Replies (20) Good night (1490) Bad night (2763)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+31): The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?' http://tfl.nu/vspz
  Replies (6) Good night (2731) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned. http://tfl.nu/e449
  Replies (6) Good night (2467) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some. http://tfl.nu/uaz4
  Replies (5) Good night (1090) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral. http://tfl.nu/t6oc
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/p6i2
  Replies (5) Good night (674) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you take my contact solution?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): you take my contact solution? (1-248): drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride. http://tfl.nu/mr4a
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (630)

Randomize