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I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
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