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• (323): View more from California

  are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions

  (310): View more from California

  i wish

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

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• (917): View more from New York City

  SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out

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