Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun

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  (805): I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun http://tfl.nu/vzxf
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (701)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.

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  (402): So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing. http://tfl.nu/7on0
  Replies (38) Good night (3012) Bad night (730)
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  (818): View more from California

  question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?

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  (818): question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all? http://tfl.nu/n95r
  Replies (6) Good night (3395) Bad night (932)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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  (980): I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks http://tfl.nu/h8ue
  Replies (29) Good night (840) Bad night (4843)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number

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  (617): i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number http://tfl.nu/mfjx
  Replies (14) Good night (6913) Bad night (917)
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  (718): View more from New York

  He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.

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  (718): He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race. http://tfl.nu/hbzv
  Replies (28) Good night (6057) Bad night (1002)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.

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  (505): He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off. http://tfl.nu/4dsi
  Replies (22) Good night (7699) Bad night (2015)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.

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  (506): yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her. http://tfl.nu/588d
  Replies (7) Good night (2961) Bad night (1162)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"

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  (480): My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap" http://tfl.nu/nk79
  Replies (6) Good night (3849) Bad night (670)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.

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  (910): Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started. http://tfl.nu/ywdk
  Replies (1) Good night (1359) Bad night (533)
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  (310): View more from California

  OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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  (310): OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS? http://tfl.nu/ewib
  Replies (14) Good night (1730) Bad night (806)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid

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  (+44): The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid http://tfl.nu/ks5z
  Replies (4) Good night (2211) Bad night (451)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?

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  (+44): Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card? http://tfl.nu/fw4l
  Replies (4) Good night (1117) Bad night (323)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.

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  (+27): Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything. http://tfl.nu/71ow
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (221)
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  (916): View more from California

  Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless

  (209): View more from California

  Sacramento doesn't deserve you

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  (916): Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless (209): Sacramento doesn't deserve you http://tfl.nu/wsxj
  Replies (5) Good night (677) Bad night (235)

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