He kissed a someone with a penis
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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