Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine